So this parenting thing...

...is hard.

Pippin is nearly 16 months now and getting more independent and person-like by the day. I feel like I've hit my stride (to a certain extent) as a stay at home mum over the last month or two (yes, it really took that long... oh my) and I am lucky that Pippin is a bit of a creature of habit and seems to like the routine we have settled into, which looks something like this:

7am up and breastfeed
8am breakfast for all
8.30-10.30ish morning activities usually around the house but sometimes we run errands
11am lunch (I usually eat this with Pip, I am often hungry by this stage and it gets it out of the way so I don't have to waste precious Pippin-nap time on eating)
11.45ish breastfeed
12noon - 3pm (ish) Pippin sleeps and I do stuff (like blog, clean, crochet, sew, drink tea)
3.30pm afternoon snack
3.30-5.30pm afternoon activities, trip to the park or library, playgroup etc
6pm dinner (usually for us all - again it gets it out of the way so I can actually sit down later in the evening)
6.30pm bathtime
7pm breastfeed and then into bed

It looks very organised like that doesn't it, of course I leave out the bits where - on days that I am very tired or not feeling terrific - I spend time staring at Pip wondering what the heck to do to entertain him, or wishing that I could just do what I feel like instead of having to cater to his needs first.

On the other hand I feel so incredibly lucky to be able to spend this time with him. So blessed.

Yet simultaneously embarrassed... shouldn't I have a 'real job' and be doing something of 'real value'?

Oh, hang on. I AM. I just re-read this awesome post at Apron Strings to remind myself.

Because I DO have to keep reminding myself. It is so easy for me to minimise the work that I am doing here, now,  every minute that I am taking care of Pippin. Friends ask me what I've been up to, or new acquaintances ask me what I do, and I usually say 'oh, just taking care of Pippin' or 'oh, I'm just a stay at home mum.'

What I do is not 'just'. It is not 'merely'. It is not 'less worthy'.

I am actually raising up a human being and that is infinitely valuable work. It is NOT work that should be farmed out to others as a matter of course (although that 'village' that people always say is needed 'to raise a child' would sure come in handy sometimes).

Wow, I feel so defensive about this. I didn't really realise until I started writing it all down...