I just realised

...I've been putting off (for months!!) writing an email to my very good friend in Canberra because I am too embarrassed about being a stay at home mum. Too embarrassed about not having a 'real job' to tell her about. Too afraid of being boring because all I want to do is rave on about how awesome Pippin is (which is HUGELY AWESOME by the way).

Whoa. What is that all about?

I am going to write her an email about my TERRIFIC and PRODUCTIVE and ENJOYABLE life of baking, crocheting, homemaking, gardening and Pippin-wrangling right now.

Stuff I love: kitchen edition

In the spirit of celebrating what I already possess, rather than lusting after things that I want, here are three kitchen items that I totally adore and cannot live without:

My slow cooker. A gift from my parents a few years ago, it has come into its own since I have had Pippin. Seriously, there is no easier way to get dinner on the table. Also since I bought a kindle copy of Not Your Mother's Slow Cooker Cook Book my confidence in using it has greatly increased and I am much more adventurous.

This bread tin. An op shop find, it is simply the best tin ever. Nothing sticks to it; it makes an ideal loaf size-wise, shape-wise and burnished crust-wise. I don't know what it's made of but it is worth its weight in gold to me (and it only cost me about $4 or so).

Nigella's book How to Be a Domestic Goddess. We are serious Nigella fans here with all her cookbooks in pride of place on our already well-stocked shelves and HTBADG is my favourite baking book; I come back to it again and again.

What kitchen stuff do you love? Do share!

Love

Verity

Things I know

Having my non-computer literate mum tell me to google something is hilarious.

If I had had any idea of the sheer volume of liquid poo that Pippin could produce I would have stuck with disposable nappies, damn it.

Crochet is the crack cocaine of the craft world. I am so addicted, I'm hooking it even as I write this post.

It is sheer bliss to not have the house surrounded by scaffolding, even though the renovations are still not quite finished.

Some days it is just absolutely necessary to make fairy cakes with pink icing and cherries on top.

Joining in with Shae for the week - see what other people know here!

Love

Verity

The green earth, say you?

...that is a mighty matter of legend, though you tread it under the light of day.

- Aragorn to Eomer of Rohan (JRR Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings)

Struggling to understand

I am struggling (as many people are right now I am sure) to understand and make sense of the wave upon wave of natural disasters that have caused so much devastation in Australia, New Zealand and now Japan. I am so lucky; my home is safe and my family and friends are too. I am going about my daily business, cooking, reading, playing with Pippin, laughing, talking, blogging.

Yet there are people out there who are frightened, homeless, injured, in danger. I can barely imagine what they must be feeling.

If there is a loving God who created us, how can He let these things happen? If they must happen, why to person A rather than person B? What did I do to deserve the many blessings that I currently enjoy? What did someone else do to deserve the loss of their family, their home, their livelihood?

I left the Catholic church of my upbringing a long time ago; I have lived a number of years as an agnostic and even an atheist. Recently I have been trying to find a place for God in my life again. I would like a simple faith, if I could find one. But there doesn't seem to be anything simple about it, in the face of suffering of this magnitude. In fact it even seems more comforting to believe, as Tennant does, that the things that happen to us during our lifetimes are the result of pure chance and not in any way part of some grander design or controlled by any divine being.

Right now I don't know what to think, apart from just being deeply, deeply grateful for the fact that I am alive, safe, and drinking tea while Pippin sleeps upstairs and Tennant plays some questy-adventure game on his computer.

Love,

Verity

Things I know

c\_/ there is nothing cuter than the sound of Pippin babbling and singing to himself

c\_/ unreliable uncommunicative tradespeople are THE WORST

c\_/ reliable, trustworthy tradespeople are THE BEST. Also, unfortunately, rare

c\_/ I cannot wait to get all the scaffolding out of our front and back yards and get a kitchen garden in

c\_/ being premenstrual means all I want to do is shop shop shop

c\_/ knitting is boring compared with crochet

What do you know this week? See what other people are sharing at Shae's place!

Taking Things at a Different Pace

I tend to rush around. I like to get from A to B at a brisk pace. I tell myself I can 'slow down later'. Well, like tomorrow, later never comes... or when it does it tends to get filled up with other stuff that Has To Be Done Now.

Having a toddler in tow, however... well. That's a whole different thing isn't it. Either Pippin is attached to my leg making it difficult for me to get from A to B (and I'm talking about from the bench to the kitchen table, not some epic trip), or else I'm holding his hand while he toddles alongside me, forcing me to go at a pace his little legs can manage. Or else he's in the stroller and I'm going along at a fair crack and then I remember that I could go slower and actually point things out to him, talk to him, take him OUT of the stroller even (brainwave!) and let him potter around a bit, before continuing on our way.

Guess what? You can see and do some pretty fun and lovely things when you slow down a little bit.

Conservatory at the Fitzroy Gardens

 Tudor Village (ripe for stomping, Tokyo-style?)

 Snoozing wizard

Although that said... Pippin CAN also move himself from A to B pretty fast when he wants to, especially when A is one end of the kitchen where his toys are and B is the other end where the rubbish bin is.

Something Lovely

Image from we heart it

Yesterday I read this post, 'You Are Already Perfect' from Zen Habits, and it really resonated with me. It was just what I needed to read and I hope you enjoy it too.

I particularly liked this bit:

And here’s another realization that I’ve written about before: You already have everything you need to be happy, right here and right now.

Do you have eyes that see? You have the ability to appreciate the beauty of the sky, of greenery, of people’s faces, of water. Do you have ears that hear? You have the ability to appreciate music, the sound of rainfall, the laughter of friends. You have the ability to feel rough denim, cool breezes, grass on bare feet … to smell fresh-cut grass, flowers, coffee … to taste a plum, a chili pepper, chocolate.

This is a miracle, and we take it for granted. Instead, we strive for more, when we already have everything.

Radical Homemakers - have you read it?

I'm reading it at the moment (on my iPad as an e-book, ironically but conveniently enough). I came across it mentioned on the Apron Stringz blog (which is awesome in itself) and have been working my way through it over the last week or so - I'm about two-thirds of the way through. It's incredibly thought provoking. I admit I picked it up, virtually speaking, because following the closure of my Etsy shop (which you can read about here) and entering into basically 100% full-time 'home duties' (as it was so lyrically put in my most recent mobile phone contract) I really, REALLY needed some reassurance that I am:

a.) Not lazy, and
b.) Making a valid and responsible lifestyle choice

particularly in light of the fact that many of the other mums in Pippin's local playgroup are heading back into the workforce.

And Radical Homemakers is reassuring - forcefully so - from that point of view. It is also quite an eye opener into some aspects of American consumer culture, although I am of course aware that the author has a particular view of the world and that this colours the way she represents that culture. I am just starting the section of the book which discusses the underlying 'how' of being a Radical Homemaker - the skills of nurturing relationships, redefining pleasure, rediscovering 'real food' (I think we do pretty well on that one already, honestly) and so on. I'm particularly looking forward to reading this section, I am sure it will be inspiring.

What I would also really like would be a book written about Australian Radical Homemakers... and to meet some... I would love to know if you have read it and what you think about it!

Fathers' Day

This Sunday just past was Fathers' Day - Tennant's first! He has been working SO hard, so I got him a voucher for a relaxation massage, but then I wanted to get him something Pippin related as well. I decided to try making hand prints with Pippin.

Well. He was not so much of a fan of having his hands smooshed around in paint as I anticipated... And he cried... And wanted to smear his paint-y hands all over himself and me... But I managed to get them pressed onto sheets of paper instead, without too much collateral damage!

(I had high hopes of getting Pippin to draw something with some crayons as well, but that requires morer coordination and lessinterestbin stuffing everything in our mouth, apparently.)

So now Tennant can take Pippin's very first artwork and stick it up at his desk at work.

Busy Monday

Mondays are busy for me and Pippin...

In the morning we go to the local pool for Pippin's swimming lesson (well, 'water familiarisation class' is the correct if excessively lengthy term)...

And in the afternoon we go to playgroup. It's so fun to see how all the babies are growing and changing and really have their own personalities.

Today because it was a beautiful, sunny, mild day, after playgroup Pippin and I went for a bit of a walk and spent some time in the Fitzroy Gardens looking at grass and leaves (and definitely NOT putting them in our mouths)!

And now a very tired baby is sound asleep and I am looking forward to dinner.

Regrouping

Well, over the last ten days or so I have had some very bad news and been very sick. Connected or not, who knows? It has been a pretty crappy time I must say.

Today, however, I'm starting to feel better physically and to get things back in perspective. I'm taking the time to get some household things done... Like folding the nappies (Pip has spent the last couple of days in disposables!) and sorting out laundry and making the bed. And I just did some yoga and had a cup of tea. (I also had to have a giggle while doing my yoga, because I had some rainforet sounds playing on my iPod, and the bird calls sent our cat hunting round the room trying unsuccessfully to locate their source.)

I'm thinking that maybe this afternoon or this evening I might bake some biscuits... Or anything really, because it is beyond freezing at our house today and having the oven going will be a good way to warm the place up a bit! This evening I think I will snuggle down with my husband, some tea and my Tea Geek course and do some tea-geeky study. I really feel like doing homey, comforting, quiet things. What about you?.

I am worth more.

Image via kind over matter

Trawling my way around the interwebs, I managed just before to stumble across the first pro-anorexia blog I have ever read (I am not going to link to it). I am feeling sad and confronted by the feelings this has brought up for me.

Those of you who know me well will be aware that I have struggled with eating issues for approximately half my life. I developed anorexia in my teens, pulled myself out of that, headed a pretty straight course to bulimia via a very strict vegan diet, and have been working for the last approximately 5 years to recover from the bulimia.

I am extraordinarily lucky in that while my eating disorders have often made me miserable they have not destroyed my life or my overall health. I am working on having a calmer, happier relationship with food. This blog, where I celebrate the things that I cook and eat, is part of this. It's hard work, especially when I am tired and stressed as I often am, but I can genuinely say that I am now on the road to being recovered, rather than just struggling, or even worse, pretending.

There is so much more to a meaningful life and a HEALTHY life than the type of food I eat, the amount I weigh, the way I look. This really is easier to remember and to live when I don't expose myself to media that suggest otherwise... but that's another post.

I came across the image at the start of this post on the Kind Over Matter blog and it stuck with me. It also made me wonder about how to define my worth in non-weight, non-food ways... but that's another post too. The point I want to make for myself and for anyone who is reading this blog today is this. Creating rules around food, weight, exercise and looks don't help. These rules can't protect me or you from real life. I am not a better person because I eat a particular way... or weigh a particular amount... or whatever. I'm me. I'm enough just as I am. You are too.

The other week I desperately wanted to weigh myself. My sister's scales are stashed in the back of the bathroom cupboard; out of sight out of mind, it's not helpful for me to remember they are there. But I desperately wanted to pull them out and reassure myself (?!) about my weight. I came so close to doing it.

And then I remembered the Kind Over Matter post and I was able to step back and kind of boggle a bit at what I was doing. HOW was knowing my weight going to be reassuring? WHAT kind of value was I placing on a random, meaningless number? WHY was I going to let that number determine how I felt about myself? Good grief, I thought - this is RIDICULOUS.

So I didn't get out the scales. I still haven't. I'm still anxious about my weight. But the difference between me now and me even a couple of years ago is that I'm able to put this anxiety in perspective and let it hang around without acting on it. Most of the time, anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you have your own struggles with food... 

c\__/ have a look at the If Not Dieting, Then What? website (or get the book from the library, or even buy your own copy) - so helpful, totally sensible advice.
c\__/ the Oak House has made, and continues to make, a huge difference in my life.

Confronted

I was reading through some of the recent posts on Zen Habits the other day and I came across these two:

The Clean-Slate Guide to Simplicity and How to Simplify When You Love Your Stuff

I love the idea of simplicity. I love the idea of having less stuff. Perversely, I do also have a lot of stuff, including stuff that I don't use, wear, read, like, or even remember that I have.

That's too much stuff, in that case, then, isn't it? But how to get rid of it? How to manage it?

I felt particularly confronted when I read this, in the 'How to Simplify' post:

7. You will know you are buying mindlessly if you:

• Buy on a whim.
• Buy to impress others.
• Buy because you feel you deserve it.
• Buy when you can’t afford it.
• Buy just to update something that still works or looks fine.
• Buy because someone else has it and you want it too.
• Buy because the advertisement seduced you.
• Buy because you are bored.
• It’s purchased because buying soothes you.

I don't really think that I buy to impress others, or because someone else has it and I want it too, or because I am seduced by advertisements. But... because buying soothes me? On a whim? I'm bored? And even... because I feel I deserve it?

Ow. Those ones bit deep on a number of levels. I had to stop reading and come back to the article later. I felt ashamed. And a bit overwhelmed. The excess stuff that I know is lurking around has been haunting me for the last week or so. It is hard enough not buying things. Why is it also so hard to get rid of them?

On the one hand I want to hang onto some things for Pippin's sake. Like knick-knacky things... our glass paperweight collection for example. I don't think I would miss them if they weren't on our shelf, but I reckon he will have heaps of fun looking at and playing with those things when he's a bit older. (I remember how fascinated with my mum's sewing box and button collection and fabric stash I was.) Some old clothes will be good to hold onto for dress-ups. Should I start a 'Pippin stash' with things like these? What do you think?

Books and notes and things from my university days though, that I haven't looked at but have been hanging onto just in case... they could definitely go. So I am making a commitment to de-stuff my life a bit. Today I took the time to go through the boxes of crafty things that I have under my desk: sorted them into 'Christmas' and 'non-Christmas', tidied them, got rid of some stuff. I also did the 'clean-slate-email' thing and emptied out my gmail inbox. I don't have a backup drive so am a bit scared to try the complete computer reformatting thing!

Next will be the box of folders I have from my old public service job; I can pretty much guarantee I NEVER intend to look at them again.

After that, my old notes and books from uni.

And after that, the bathroom cabinets.

And after that, stuff on top of my desk (this is a scary one!).

And after that, my iPhoto library... yes it's only taking up space on my computer but it's driving me bananas how many useless photos I have on there.

And after that... well, that might do for the time being. I reckon I could get many of these tasks done in the course of the next couple of weeks. I'll let you know how I go! Do you have any helpful tips or advice for managing your STUFF??*

*and also possibly your husband's?? I'm feeling a ruthless cull of excess socks coming on.

Stationery Swap

I was thrilled to take part in the Calico and Co stationery swap recently... Look at all the wonderful stationery goodies that my swap partner Amanda (who is the designy queen behind Calico and Co) sent me:

Best of all were the cards that she designed especially for me!

Amanda will soon be launching her own stationery line 'Lemon Tree Lane' and if these cards are any indication it's going to be gorgeous. Can't wait to see the rest of the range! Thanks so much for spoiling me with such a great swap Amanda!

Here's a sneak peek of the parcel that's currently making its way via Australia Post to my swap partner... But I won't say who it is or reveal any more until she has received it. I hope she loves it though.

I had so much fun with this swap that I signed up for the Calico and Co birthday swap as well. You could join in too!

And I am now also slightly obsessed with Swap-Bot and so I might be organising a swap of my own shortly. Guess what it will involve? Did someone say 'tea'? My goodness, you do know me well...

I'm a Maverick Renegade

I actually would never have thought this until I started writing this blog... but I am a renegade when it comes to recipes.

 Burglars and Cupcakes by Tamara Garvey

If you had asked me a few weeks ago, I would have said I always followed recipes carefully and to the letter... but I realise now that I don't. I substitute this and leave out that and don't check the time and bake things too long or goodness knows what else.

What a naughty, self-opinionated cook I am. Luckily what I make usually turns out ok and I don't have too many disasters... What kind of cook are you?

Some thoughts on different bread styles

I am loving my sourdough baking, but the bread really is very different to the Kneadlessly Simple ones I was previously baking almost every week. The sourdough breads are much leaner; unless it's a fruit bread there is no added sugar/honey/molasses and although some oil gets worked into the dough from my oiled bench and hands (to stop it sticking) there is usually no added fat either.

The sourdough breads consequently don't keep anywhere near as well. In the Kneadlessly Simple book the author Nancy Baggett generally recommends only keeping the bread at room temperature for a couple of days, but I find that the breads keep perfectly well in our bread bin for nearly a whole week (we do mostly toast them though). Of course they don't always last that long! But I find that the sourdough breads are only good for a couple of days and then you really are better off to freeze the remainder.

Now that my sourdough starter is vital and healthy I am keeping it in the fridge, taking out what I need and refreshing it as I go, rather than tending to it everyday. I also use the 'dough retardation' method as often as possible, whereby you rest the dough in the fridge overnight before baking it after a slower second rise. That said it is still a bit more complicated to make the sourdough breads compared with the no-knead ones. With the latter you seriously only need a couple of periods of about 10 minutes each for mixing and the rest of the time the dough is just sitting around either in the fridge or on your kitchen bench doing its thing without any help from you. Consequently it's easier to fit breadmaking into your life. With the sourdough you really do need an hour or two at home to get the bread ready for its first rise. Things get a bit easier after that.

The other thing about making the sourdough though, is it is FUN! You get to air-knead the bread by grabbing it and throwing it in the air! Then whacking it on the bench! It's great and even more cathartic than regular kneading. So if you feel that you have stuff to get out of your system... this is a most productive way to do it. You let off steam, and then you have nice bread. This is called a win-win situation.

Do you have a method of breadmaking you prefer? My friend Anne was also posting about these sorts of issues on her blog Pins and Thimbles... check it out!

Thirty things that I love

I ♥ my crazy quirky family
I ♥ my crazy quirky friends
I ♥ tea
I ♥ roaming around farmers' markets
I ♥ roaming around handmade markets
I ♥ Twin Peaks
I ♥ The Muppet Show
I ♥ baking my own bread
I ♥ Nigella Lawson recipes
I ♥ living in Melbourne
I ♥ the interwebs
I ♥ The Lord of the Rings
I ♥ Agatha Christie mysteries
I ♥ a sleeping Pippin
I ♥ vintage teacups
I ♥ the smell of roses
I ♥ being asleep
I ♥ cute softie toys
I ♥ long flowy skirts
I ♥ The Dark is Rising books
I ♥ massages and spa treatments
I ♥ chocolate mud cake
I ♥ laughing
I ♥ walking
I ♥ a tidy house
I ♥ fresh sheets on the bed and clean pyjamas
I ♥ thunderstorms (when I'm inside the house!)
I ♥ warm a scented bath
I ♥ steamed broccoli with brown rice and lemon-soy-tahini sauce

Thanks Amanda from Calico & Co for the inspiration for this post!

Nice Note Drop

So here it is, my 'Nice Note Drop' to celebrate the 2nd blogiversary of Operation Nice... I secreted a few of these lovely bright notes around the local library...

Hopefully some pleasant surprises there for the people who borrow the various books I stuck them into!

By this stage you may be asking yourself... 'What is up with all this niceness huh...? Has Verity gone completely loopy?'

Well that's a bit of a moot point... but what I will say is that there have been times over the last few months when I have been having a difficult baby day, or just a difficult day all on its own, and been wandering around the park with or without Pippin just wishing and wishing that some random person would come up to me and tell me that everything was going to be all right... or smile at me... or that the universe would somehow wrap me up and give me a great big hug.

And it didn't happen. At least, not just like that. I had to reach out and ask for that love and support and niceness from friends and family... which is just a lesson that I also need to learn I guess, so that's ok.

But I can't help thinking that it would be wonderful if some other person, wandering around my local streets in need of substantial cheering up, found the inspiration and love they were desperately wanting because there is some crazy lady posting funny little notes around the place. Wouldn't that be nice.

A NICE Assignment

This Thursday marks the second blogiversary of Operation NICE, a blog I have only recently stumbled across but which is ever so... well... NICE. Melissa who writes the blog has requested that readers help her celebrate by participating in a 'nice note drop' - print out some of her free note cards, write a little message, and scatter them around to spread a bit of niceness!

As an added incentive, for each person who emails her photos of their note drop she will donate $1 to The Hunger Project. How NICE* is that?


* My inner naughtiness can't help but feel that NICE should actually be some kind of Orwellianly sinister acronym. It's not though. Pity.