I've been breastfeeding my little son since he was born nearly 8 months ago. As of last night, I'm not. To cut a long story short:
He has four large, sharp teeth.
He likes to bite things.
Those things include (for whatever reason) my nipples.
The last few bites have drawn blood and I cannot stand the agony any longer.
It wasn't meant to end this way. Yes I have complained about breastfeeding - it's not 100% easy after all, takes practice etc - but I really wanted to go the full 12 months. I didn't want him to go to formula. Nevertheless it looks like that's how it's going to be. I'll keep expressing as much milk as I can for as long as I can, but it is - obviously - not the same. The next few days will be really difficult too, I anticipate - Pippin is not used to a bottle at all. My husband is trying to give him one now, I'm not sure how successfully. I'll look in on them shortly.
I am really grieving. I have been crying and crying and crying. I guess I didn't realise how important breastfeeding is to me until it has been suddenly taken away.
Oh Verity, how I feel for you. I understand completely. You do need time to allow the grieving, but it won’t go on for too long.
ReplyDeleteDon’t be so tough on yourself, you have given it 110%, and sometimes these things come to a natural end by themselves.
This isn’t easy, breastfeeding isn’t an exact science, no-one can predict the variables.
It’s more like a kind of dance that you do together, and one of you takes the lead.
This time it’s your son.
Breastfeeding is a journey. You have both reached your destination.
I’m sure that the love that you and your hubbie give Pippin, along with I am quite confident, beautiful nutritious food, is more than enough of a wonderful way to nuture your son.
Thank you Lu xoxoxoxox
ReplyDeleteI think any breastfeeding you can do at all is worth it. If you can't do it anymore - for whatever reason - you can't. I understand that you'll grieve and feel sad by it, but don't feel bad because of it. Babies who're bottle fed are loved and happy too, and Pippin got 8 months! :) xx
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